My randomness, your pleasure
I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It’s a sort of splendid torch I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it to future generations.
George Benard Shaw
These words started defining my life last year. They have become more vivid by the day and I love that… I love that my life has a bigger meaning than me. And that bigger meaning touches the lives around me positively.


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In celebration of women’s month, I’d like to appreciate my sisters who hold it down. These goddesses keep their families together and turn their households into homes  cos men are just plain old stupid.

The uphill battle…
Women generally have their hands full when dealing with the opposite sex. Men are childish, irresponsible and talk too bloody much. They say mean, hurtful things at times.

But if you love your overgrown toddler, you will put up with him and patiently mold him into your perfect man. If you don’t take the time to refine his nasty ass, he will eventually come across a woman who will.

The storm before the calm…
If you stick it out, be warned. This is no easy task. The bouga will fight you every step of the way. But it’s okay because you have a plan… you want to make him your “own” prince.

My mother says relationships that go the distance are held together by women. She insists that a man is a boy when he meets a woman, and that her efforts turn him around over time.

As she put it: “That’s why they love us [their mothers] so much, because we put them in line. If you want him to be loyal, then teach him that you’re the only woman who matters. Period.”

HMMM! Maybe that’s why my dad was so amazing… LOL!

She insists that friends and family can’t help you shape your man. Nope! In Laymen’s terms, she said: “Your shit comes out your own ass and you have to wipe it yourself. So why should it be any different with your man?”

The final score…
Anyhow, that’s the gospel truth. Women are strong, and have pulled off far more elaborate magic tricks than merely turning water into wine. Why should turning him into your prince be any different?

I’d like to wish my mother a happy birthday on August 20, and a happy women’s month. 

If we are not willing to take a chance, we leave ourselves open to missing out on a lot of beauty.
Words Of Wisdom

Song Credit: Michael Buble  Always On My Mind


So the song in the media streamer suddenly found its way to my player. What an epic tune, made more stunning by Michael Bublé’s velvety voice.

This melodic wonder’s piercing words struck a chord. They took me straight to Reflectionville, a part of town in my mind that’s creepier than Silent Hill and frightens the hell out me. It frightens me because that’s where I’m forced to confront my demons.

Anyhow, having overstayed my welcomeI’m so exhausted. My mind’s been racing and pacing. I guess this post is just me trying to find my way out of the foggy, horror-stricken wasteland I’ve been stuck in for the past couple of hours… EISH!

Yah… Michael, neh! Lomfana lo, uzak’faka engkingeni.

I guess Call Me Irresponsible, the album this song comes from, safely falls under my “favorite classic compilations” of all time.

Here are the lyrics for the curious ones amongst you:

Maybe I didn’t treat you quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn’t love you quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said & done, I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind 

Maybe I didn’t hold you all those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you I’m so happy that you’re mine
If I made you feel second best, girl, I’m sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me… tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me… give me one more chance to keep you satisfied. Satisfied

Little things I should have said & done, I just never took the time

But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by
Lucille Ball


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When you love someone, it’s inevitable that you won’t always see eye-to-eye with them. Situations will arise that will test the strength of your bond. Most times you will overcome them, but that make-it-or-break-it point is always the next argument away.

So what happens when you call it quits?

Beware the ego…
Lovers seldom part ways because of legitimate reasons. In most cases, that opportunistic sucker called ego  that hides behind your pride and vanity  is to blame. If you give it enough room, it will set off a chain of events that will kill whatever life your bruised relationship had. 

At that point, when your ego is the puppet master, you may do and say things you will justify with self-validating statements like “I’m better off anyway”, “it’s time to move on”, or the like. 

But this is all before regret kicks in.

Is missing someone that powerful?
Yes. And it’s imminent. When your pride eventually deserts you and your ego’s will power hits rock bottom, your “empty” bed will seem too big and your sheets will feel cold. Not even an electric blanket, the many hot water bottles you own or that summer heat will do the trick.

And yes, it’s the pits from here.

Missing all things good about your ex will consume you. Anticipation will beckon you into imagining all sorts of magical encounters that will lead to a reunion with the one you used to call your love.

Fight or flight…
At this point, you can either crush your ego, swallow your pride and try to patch things up with your “better half”, or brave it out. But be warned, braving it out is not for the faint-hearted, especially when your feelings for your ex are far from dead.

However, if you have no regrets about soldiering on, then maybe the break up was the best move for you.

In the end…
Not everybody breaks up because they are over their partner. In most cases, splits happen because of egos, proving a point, things unrelated to the relationship or bad influence  from friends and/or family.
Whatever the case, if you still care about your ex and wanna fix things, then you owe it to yourself to do so. Or face the reality of the curse of “the wondering mind”… LOL!

The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.
Stephen R. Covey


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Is it fair that I’m becoming disillusioned with dating? It’s odd, but I’ve noticed an alarming trend in all my suitors. Yep! They, somehow, have it in their head that I’m an island. 

Let it all out, young one…
I know I’ve got a huge personality, for days even. But for the ones I’ve dated and those I’m considering to think of me as an island, is odd. I mean I am a package. Who I am did not miraculously happen. No. It was partly nurtured and molded by my family… MY FAMILY!

I know my siblings and my mom, especially, have larger than life personalities. I also know that most people find them intimidating. But they are very accommodating, and I do mean VERY ACCOMODATING, despite their “indifference demeanour”.

Oh, no you didn’t!
The most recent manifestation of “this” happened this week. I was on a dinner date when I ran into my mom, who was coincidentally at the same restaurant with her friends. She had no clue I’d be there, neither did I her.
Anyhow, she spotted me and came by to say hi. She was warm and friendly, to both of us. After she left, the moron I was with started behaving funny. But I did not let my date’s mood get in the way of a beautiful evening. In the end, everything turned out great.

The next day, the douche sends me an SMS telling me how intimidated they felt when mommy-dearest came by. It went on to say that they felt “out of place” and “I would rather stay away from your family”.

HUH?? “Bye-bye loser” was the only thing on my mind after reading that nonsense. And yes, I told them to get lost, and haven’t responded to the plethora of messages and calls I’ve been inundated with since.

Really guys, get a life…
I mean I’m embracing of people’s families, no matter how “out of place” I feel and all the bull I have to put-up with. I understand the magic I see in whoever I’m with was partly molded by their family. And that if I’m so taken by them, I have to love and honour their relatives too.

So why do these people find it hard to do the same? Could it be that they are selfish? Or am I the problem in this equation, cos I somehow attract or have crushes on these morons?

Last, but not least…
Whatever the case is, Something’s Got To Give, like Moodphase 5ive once sang, cos I’m steadily losing faith in what life has to offer me in terms of a suitor, y’all.

The grass seems greener on the other side ‘cos it’s full of shit. Once you get there, you discover how much it reeks.

Words of Wisdom

When my friend told me this, at a time I was going through changes, moi thought she was just bitter. Fast-forward to today, and moi knows she hit the nail on the head. Now ain’t hindsight just a “female dog”. #SMH



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Venturing out for a simple night about my favourite city turned into an adventure. What was to be an uneventful evening became anything but.

The original plan…
Having settled on the idea of a conservative Friday night, I set out to my “quiet spot” to enjoy a drink before going home. That was the plan.
I had it all sorted in my mind; a single glass of my favourite spirit was on the cards. You know, something to taper off after a long day. That was the plan and I was sticking to it, so I told myself.

Just as I settled into “my seat” at my favourite Johannesburg lounge, ideal cos it’s a place where one can gather their thoughts, I was interrupted by an alluring voice.
“Can I join you?” it said. “Yes. Sure you can,” I responded.
This is an interesting person, I thought to myself, hoping they wouldn’t ruin the charm as soon as they opened their mouth.

Playing the ‘avoidance’ game…
I made nothing of the “intrusion”, thinking I can’t blame them. After all, this is the best seat in the house. I proceeded to minding my business, avoiding eye contact and any cues that would invite conversation. My plan was working, and my favourite spirit was caressing all the right spots  just as anticipated.

Trouble with a capital ‘T’…
Then all hell broke loose on my fifth sip. By then, the intruder was becoming bolder, having gone from pointless small talk to attempting a full-on conversation. What a yawn, I thought.
But all my avoidance tactics were failing at this stage.

On my second glass, I decided to indulge “stranger danger”. With my
one-drink plan now out the window, I engaged the intruder  who was, at that point, becoming more and more interesting.
The conversation went from being random nonsense to engaging banter. By then, I had let my hair down, contributing enthusiastically to the discussion. What a relief, I thought… “At least ‘stranger danger’ is charming, after all.”

The turning point…
Stranger and I then left the lounge to go to a club. By then, it felt like I’d known them for a long time. Our interaction was effortless, easy and relaxed. The vibe between us was, at this point, off the scale.
All my cares were gone. Getting lost in the moment was all that mattered. I took it all in, ingesting, digesting and enjoying every second. I was lost and time was relative. This felt great. Stranger had now graduated to being “a beautiful stranger”.

Conclusion time…
After an exhilarating, magical and unforgettable experience with the beautiful stranger, it was time for us to part ways.
Although I had über fun, I’m quiet happy to be stuck with the memory of an unforgettable evening. I will never forget “beautiful stranger”, but certain things are better enjoyed as once-off experiences.

If “beautiful stranger” ever comes across or reads this: “THANKS for the magic. I will never forget you.”
The only thing left is to make sure we never cross paths… *chuckles*