Picture Credit: http://everythingboogie.tumblr.com
EFFICIENTLY DISPENSING YOUR AFFECTION
Keep the loves that keep you kept. I keep saying this. Who are you a priority to that will sacrifice everything, including their sanity for your smile? Who are you important to? Who is that one on call at any time every time? Are they as important to you? Why not? When then, if not now with them? — everythingboogie
And be honest with yourself. In some instances, you will keep giving to one who barely notices your efforts. Or worse, one who thinks life owes them something, and you and your efforts are part payment that is due them.
There is nothing worse than experiencing a bottomless bucket scenario. You will work your fingers to the bone pouring water (your affection/effort) into it and never reap the reward.
Sharing is caring, but only when it happen in both directions… not just the one. Remember, love is not one-directional.
I’d better find your lovin’. I’d better find your heart. I bet if I give all my love then nothing’s gonna tear us apart.
Drake — Find Your Love
It’s kinda easy to fall into the trap of constantly quoting one artist or author. And in my case right now, it’s Drake and Lil’ Wayne. I guess it’s testament to their great ability to play with words.
Can Drake ever get it wrong? He’s like a younger version of Jigga — who is still very much on the ball.
Song Credit: Spiller ft. Sophie - Groove Jet (Why Does It Feel So Good)
THE DAY MY iTUNES PLAYER FOUND ONE OF MY FAVOURITE JAMS
Every now and then, one bumps into a song they used to abuse their ears with. It was thee tune to have, and one doubtlessly got it, embedded it on their harddrive and played it until they couldn’t take it anymore. It, of course, faded with each play and, inevitably, one moved on to the next “hot” jam.
Beware the ‘random’ button…
Fast-forward to a time when said jam is irrelevant and never crosses one’s mind… and BAM! Your player’s random setting just happens to select and play it. And voila! All those emotions one associates with said song make a comeback… LOL! And suddenly, it’s like you’re hearing it for the first time again… WOW!
Groove Jet (Why Does It Feel So Good) by DJ Spiller featuring Sophie Ellis-Baxter on the Ministry Of Sound’s XX Twenty Year compilation album is such a song.
Down memory lane…
It took me back to when meu was in varsity and learning to navigate the world. You know, that time when one’s just discovered a thing called parties and that social circles expand and contract at the drop of a hat… LOL!
Anyhow, I did the honourable thing and put my iTunes player on repeat. My jam played and played and played… You get where I’m going with this, right? LOL! Point is, I went through the motions again… what fun it was. *sigh*
And now to seal this lid…
I soo can’t wait till my player finds another song I used to abuse… LOL! If only, to relive the moment and go through the feelings again.
So in essence, thank the IT gods for the random button, digital archiving or libraries and harddrives.
Picture Credit: http://images.fanpop.com/
LEARNING TO DANCE AROUND THE PUNCHES
In my journey of discovery and effort to learn about my environment, love and succeeding, I’ve learned quite a bit. It’s true what they say: “You can never be too equipped for anything. And when you are, it’s never enough.”
So what’s up?
Well… the above is true… too true for my liking. And in reflection, certain things are making themselves clear to me. Like the fact that I’m not perfect, but strive to be — for the sake of those I love. It hurts so much when your efforts are not appreciated. But soldier on I must, for tomorrow is another day and a brand new chance to try again. *sigh*
Why is it that the road to hell is paved with good intentions?
The flip side of the coin…
I should just wipe my tears because this year has been too awesome. But there is just something about definitive moments that leaves them for way longer than necessary in my mind, especially when they are sad. They linger on for what feels like an eternity and, more often than not, take me back to the pits.
But it’s okay, I’ll be fine. Goodbye Snake. What a hell of a ride that was. I sooo wish I could elaborate, but that would mean writing a mini biog… LOL! I think my musings here subtly paint enough of a picture.
In the end…
I think we all learn to cherish the great moments and take something from the not-so-good ones. We may sulk when we don’t get our way but, ultimately, there’s a bittersweet relief in knowing there is always a silver lining.
Now here’s an idiom that somehow breaks my heart and simultaneously gives me hope.
But when you think about it, what if the man perceived to not have valued his “trash” was simply blind-sighted and realises his mistake?
Hopefully the one who finds the “treasure” values it and counts his blessings every time he sees, touches and feels it.
Picture Credit: http://howtomakeitinsanfrancisco.com/
THE DAY I BROUGHT A SNAKE INTO MY HOUSE
It was a warm beautiful day and summer was coming to an end. I remember being content with life, except for the one or two things that needed altering. I was happily minding my business when the hyena (ex-friend) introduced me to a cunning snake (do the math).
As I’d eventually discover, my seemingly innocent introduction (to the snake) was a carefully orchestrated manoeuvre — made to look like a chance encounter. I have to admit, I was lukewarm about the meeting for the greatest of times. There was no need for this relationship to blossom… I had no room for it in my life.
But as fate would have it, chance met opportunity and, suddenly, moments existed to pave way for the catalog of turmoil that would inevitably turn my soaring world upside down. At this point, I so wish I was exaggerating.
The unfolding of drama…
So when it finally happened, the relationship seemed promising. The snake seemed like everything I’d hoped for — and then some. Although there were warning signs, I ignored them. I thought these were typical “teething problems”. I was, however, mindful of the hyena’s influence on the snake — which the snake felt compelled to suckle on.
Then a time came when things spiraled out of control. The snake was behaving odd… it was becoming lethal. But, I was taken aback by what followed. The snake bit me. And just as I was recovering, it bit me again, and again, and again.
The cherry on the cake, however, was when it nearly killed me. And just as I was in shock, the hyena tried to finish me off.
So what happened?
Well… just as I had swallowed my pride and got on the peace wagon, right after I’d saved the snake from sudden death, the serpent reverted back to its nature. But the problem in this equation is me… indulge me for a moment.
Believing that we all learn from our mistakes, I thought the snake — knowing the hyena was poisonous to its life — had finally dumped the laughing, cowardly dog. But boy was I wrong… the hyena’s grip on the snake was much firmer than I’d anticipated.
That’s when it became clear to me that the hyena and snake’s relationship was forged in blood and cast on stone.
So what now?
I know what I have to do, but it’s hard. I care about the snake, but I fear it will kill me… sooner, rather than later! Throwing it back in the veld seems inconceivable, but I have to. This is another major relationship fail *sigh*… they all edged it pretty close. I just don’t think I’ll ever meet THE ONE. Sad, I know, but true *sigh*.
|—||Words of wisdom|
Picture Credit: http://www.deon.pl/
MY CHARTED COURSE TO GRATIFICATIONVILLE
Okay… I soo have to catch my breath. Around the time I posted MEMOIRS OF A COLD YEAR, my life was experiencing change. I thought nothing of it, but boy was I wrong.
So what happened?
What was a typical festive season transformed into a BREAK FREE fiesta. Suddenly, December was a month- and a-half — and more than made up for a lousy 2013. Partaking in “liberating activity” would come to define me. I’m soo glad that my ancestors stepped up to provide me with a change of pace which uplifted my spirits.
To think that I had succumbed to the idea of a horrible 2013 seems like a bad joke now… *chuckles*. I’m soo glad my “nomad, let’s discover new things” attitude kicked in. Yep, after leaving my natural environment on a whim, I discovered new spaces and met a lot of cool people… WOW!!
HMM! Do tell…
I indulged in priceless moments and savoured unforgettable experiences. I chuckle at how odd Elsa’s Open The Door was thee anthem to my awesome time, instead of some dance song. I played it so much, I hear it in my sleep… LOL!
In essence, I finally lived what I’d preached to friends and lovers over the years… that “one is the master of their fate. And that one’s character is truly defined when the chips are down.”
And it all boils down to…
I’m soo happy that I rebelled against a seemingly bleak year, conquered my demons and, ultimately, nurtured a side of me I’d neglected for some time now. I face 2014 with a refreshed and refined outlook on the possibilities ahead of me.
All that’s left to type is: “To the special times.”