Picture Credit: http://www.kadinzade.com/
REALITY CHECK: RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T A DISNEY FAIRYTALE
Good relationships spell happiness for aspirant lovers and those experiencing them. But veterans will tell you the secret to enjoying a long-term romance is hard work. “It’s not easy,” they say.
So what could possibly derail a flaming union? “Small things that seem relevant when you’re living through them, but aren’t,” a married friend told me.
She said patience is the lifeblood of a “till death do us part” commitment.
So here are 12 niggly bits to look out for:
#1 You want them to change their appearance
We’ve all known that guy that comments on his girlfriend’s figure if she’s gained a few, or that girl who complains nonstop about her boyfriend’s new beard. If you’re demanding that your partner change their looks like Kanye with Kim’s wardrobe, you don’t deserve to be with them. Grow up!
#2 They still notice an attractive person
Even if they only have eyes for you, every now and then that eye might take a second look at a pretty girl walking by. It doesn’t mean that they find you any less attractive or that they would ever act on an attraction. That would be one of the most immature reasons to break up.
#3 Being single seems easier
Is being single easier? Yeah, it probably is because when you’re single you can live your life however you want. But nothing worth having comes that easily.
#4 You had a fight
In the wake of a big fight, you should use it as a time to understand your partner better. It will be tough, but this is the best time to fight for your relationship instead of running away.
#5 An “unplanned blessing”… can someone say Kideo?
This one is a little extreme. But unfortunately, it is more common than you think. Keep in mind that if you felt close enough to make it happen, you’re close enough to make it work.
#6 Not ready for marriage
Just because your partner isn’t ready for marriage, doesn’t mean it’s time to walk away. You may just be at a different place than they are. So if you’re serious about spending the rest of your life with them, give them the time they need to feel ready.
#7 You don’t have everything in common
Chances are you won’t have all of the same hobbies because, well… everyone is different. This lesson is learned at pre-school, but some people have trouble applying it to relationships.
#8 You have different schedules
Sometimes, relationships take a little more work because of different schedules. Maybe she works nights and you work mornings, but that should not get in the way. If you’re trying to make it work, then you’ll always find the time.
#9 They’re not a stereotype
Maybe you think your girlfriend should be cooking your meals and ironing your shirts. Or, that your boyfriend should be working all day and spending his money on you. Rule of thumb about relationships: “Someone should not have to change to be with you.”
#10 The butterflies are gone
Remember your first date with them, when you had butterflies in your stomach and blushed because they complimented your outfit? This eventually wears off. But just because you’ve become comfortable with each other, does not mean that it’s not working anymore.
#11 They don’t make you happy all the time
Someone else should never be responsible for your own happiness. Relationships require work, and sometimes, they feel anything but happy. If this is a problem for you, then you’ve seen one-too-many Disney movies.
#12 Can’t handle baggage
News flash! Everyone comes with some kind of baggage. Even if it’s the first serious relationship for your partner, they’re going to have strings attached. If you’re looking for perfection, you should probably just prepare to die alone.
And those are some of the annoyances that could get in the way of a good relationship. These niggly bits could easily be mistaken for the serious hurdles lovers face, like trust issues etc.