My randomness, your pleasure
12 BAD ‘EXCUSES’ TO BREAK UP

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Picture Credit: http://www.kadinzade.com/

REALITY CHECK: RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T A DISNEY FAIRYTALE

Good relationships spell happiness for aspirant lovers and those experiencing them. But veterans will tell you the secret to enjoying a long-term romance is hard work. “It’s not easy,” they say.

So what could possibly derail a flaming union? “Small things that seem relevant when you’re living through them, but aren’t,” a married friend told me. 
She said patience is the lifeblood of a “till death do us part” commitment.

So here are 12 niggly bits to look out for:

#1 You want them to change their appearance
We’ve all known that guy that comments on his girlfriend’s figure if she’s gained a few, or that girl who complains nonstop about her boyfriend’s new beard. If you’re demanding that your partner change their looks like Kanye with Kim’s wardrobe, you don’t deserve to be with them. Grow up!

#2 They still notice an attractive person
Even if they only have eyes for you, every now and then that eye might take a second look at a pretty girl walking by. It doesn’t mean that they find you any less attractive or that they would ever act on an attraction. That would be one of the most immature reasons to break up.

#3 Being single seems easier
Is being single easier? Yeah, it probably is because when you’re single you can live your life however you want. But nothing worth having comes that easily.

#4 You had a fight
In the wake of a big fight, you should use it as a time to understand your partner better. It will be tough, but this is the best time to fight for your relationship instead of running away.

#5 An “unplanned blessing”… can someone say Kideo?
This one is a little extreme. But unfortunately, it is more common than you think. Keep in mind that if you felt close enough to make it happen, you’re close enough to make it work.

#6 Not ready for marriage
Just because your partner isn’t ready for marriage, doesn’t mean it’s time to walk away. You may just be at a different place than they are. So if you’re serious about spending the rest of your life with them, give them the time they need to feel ready.

#7 You don’t have everything in common
Chances are you won’t have all of the same hobbies because, well… everyone is different. This lesson is learned at pre-school, but some people have trouble applying it to relationships.

#8 You have different schedules
Sometimes, relationships take a little more work because of different schedules. Maybe she works nights and you work mornings, but that should not get in the way. If you’re trying to make it work, then you’ll always find the time.

#9 They’re not a stereotype
Maybe you think your girlfriend should be cooking your meals and ironing your shirts. Or, that your boyfriend should be working all day and spending his money on you. Rule of thumb about relationships: “Someone should not have to change to be with you.”

#10 The butterflies are gone
Remember your first date with them, when you had butterflies in your stomach and blushed because they complimented your outfit? This eventually wears off. But just because you’ve become comfortable with each other, does not mean that it’s not working anymore.

#11 They don’t make you happy all the time
Someone else should never be responsible for your own happiness. Relationships require work, and sometimes, they feel anything but happy. If this is a problem for you, then you’ve seen one-too-many Disney movies.

#12 Can’t handle baggage
News flash! Everyone comes with some kind of baggage. Even if it’s the first serious relationship for your partner, they’re going to have strings attached. If you’re looking for perfection, you should probably just prepare to die alone.

And those are some of the annoyances that could get in the way of a good relationship. These niggly bits could easily be mistaken for the serious hurdles lovers face, like trust issues etc.

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Opportunities don’t wait for you to realise they’ve arrived.

I heard this line somewhere… guess it stuck. It haunts me every time I contemplate my progress and the options available to me  and how it’s never enough.

I can’t get over how this year has been a blessing. Each day has been littered with chance and the prospect of “bigger, better things”.

I can safely say meu pai would have been proud. I hope he is, wherever he is.

AIN’T IT FUNNY?

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Picture Credit: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN LIFE THROWS YOU A CURVE BALL

As Jennifer Lopez once sang, Ain’t It Funny? Indeed, ain’t life funny? At least that’s what I’d like to believe she was referring to. Her words are a reflection of how unpredictable life can be sometimes, especially when one is caught off-guard. 

Shed some light…
Honestly, I’ve been avoiding posting for over a week now. And stating that my life has been interesting would be an understatement. I guess the best way to sum things up would be that my March felt like a progressive loop. Yes… loop.

Surprised? Well… bear with me.

Delving deeper…
Ever felt like you were going through “corrected” déjà vu? You know, when it feels like you’re reliving moments, only this time, the new details are slightly altered from the original experience.
It feels like you’re playing catch-up, but your brain won’t accept the new reality and keeps referring to the past while making comparisons.

If you have gone through such a phenomenon, then welcome to my life in the past two weeks. Saying the experience has been unpleasant would be a lie.
But yes, I do feel like this “progressive loop” has turned my somewhat “balanced” existence upside down. *sigh*.

Enter confusion…
So how do I now make sense of things? I mean, one part of me is elated, and the other is just plain old confused. Really, how do I express my newfound sense of excitement/relief and still keep my cool, calm and composure?
I really wish I had all the answers, sometimes. What was that line again? Oh ya, “you can never know what the sensation is like until you’ve experienced it”. Pfhoooo! I guess that journey of a 1000 miles begins here.

All in all…
Being here and peering into my future, I hope what I’ve done  and keep doing  has laid a solid foundation for good things to come. Truthfully writing, no one knows what the future’s like, but we all have some idea.

Don’ light my fire, ‘less you can go widdit…
Go Widdit - Zaki Ibrahim
Picture Credit: http://iblacklove.tumblr.com
GOING DOWN THE LOVE ALLEY
Not! “Smother” always wins. Hands down. Then one seals the deal with breakfast, and all. And yes, that means the pancakes too. I soooo haven’t felt this way in forever. HMMM!
The inevitable seeds of doubt…Once read somewhere that “when you find your love, hold on”. But I’ve always wondered, do we ever know if we’ve found “the one”? Or is it an endless case of trial and error and, eventually, settling once the bustle gets too much?Or better still, do we merely settle for someone who strikes the best compromise between what we love and hate? Is there even such a thing as a soulmate?
Too many questions, and very little interest in the negatives, on my part.
And then the nostalgia bug bites…All eu can really say is that I miss being totally besotted with someone. You know, when time is soooo relative that it’s almost irrelevant. And all that’s left to decide is how long you can bear being away from each other.
Read somewhere that nature always over compensates for what was in short supply — when it attempts to offset an imbalance. I wonder if it works with emotions, too? LOL! Okay. Maybe that’s wishful thinking. *chuckles*.
So what’s the conclusion?All that’s left to say is: when you feel you have a good thing, hang on to it. Because you might never come across another instance of it.

Picture Credit: http://iblacklove.tumblr.com

GOING DOWN THE LOVE ALLEY

Not! “Smother” always wins. Hands down. Then one seals the deal with breakfast, and all. And yes, that means the pancakes too. I soooo haven’t felt this way in forever. HMMM!

The inevitable seeds of doubt…
Once read somewhere that “when you find your love, hold on”. 
But I’ve always wondered, do we ever know if we’ve found “the one”? Or is it an endless case of trial and error and, eventually, settling once the bustle gets too much?
Or better still, do we merely settle for someone who strikes the best compromise between what we love and hate? Is there even such a thing as a soulmate?

Too many questions, and very little interest in the negatives, on my part.

And then the nostalgia bug bites…
All eu can really say is that I miss being totally besotted with someone. You know, when time is soooo relative that it’s almost irrelevant. And all that’s left to decide is how long you can bear being away from each other.

Read somewhere that nature always over compensates for what was in short supply  when it attempts to offset an imbalance. I wonder if it works with emotions, too? LOL! Okay. Maybe that’s wishful thinking. *chuckles*.

So what’s the conclusion?
All that’s left to say is: when you feel you have a good thing, hang on to it. Because you might never come across another instance of it.

And when that love is fully grounded and blossoms in its fullest trust and knowing, then a truly bountiful gift can be given to each other and the world
manakahandmade
Picture Credit: http://everythingboogie.tumblr.com
EFFICIENTLY DISPENSING YOUR AFFECTION
Keep the loves that keep you kept. I keep saying this. Who are you a priority to that will sacrifice everything, including their sanity for your smile? Who are you important to? Who is that one on call at any time every time? Are they as important to you? Why not? When then, if not now with them? —  everythingboogie
…
And be honest with yourself. In some instances, you will keep giving to one who barely notices your efforts. Or worse, one who thinks life owes them something, and you and your efforts are part payment that is due them.
There is nothing worse than experiencing a bottomless bucket scenario. You will work your fingers to the bone pouring water (your affection/effort) into it and never reap the reward.
Sharing is caring, but only when it happen in both directions… not just the one. Remember, love is not one-directional.

Picture Credit: http://everythingboogie.tumblr.com

EFFICIENTLY DISPENSING YOUR AFFECTION

Keep the loves that keep you kept. I keep saying this. Who are you a priority to that will sacrifice everything, including their sanity for your smile? Who are you important to? Who is that one on call at any time every time? Are they as important to you? Why not? When then, if not now with them? —  everythingboogie

And be honest with yourself. In some instances, you will keep giving to one who barely notices your efforts. Or worse, one who thinks life owes them something, and you and your efforts are part payment that is due them.

There is nothing worse than experiencing a bottomless bucket scenario. You will work your fingers to the bone pouring water (your affection/effort) into it and never reap the reward.

Sharing is caring, but only when it happen in both directions… not just the one. Remember, love is not one-directional.

It’s more than just a mission. You hear but you don’t listen. You better pay attention. And get what you’ve been missin’.
I’d better find your lovin’. I’d better find your heart. I bet if I give all my love then nothing’s gonna tear us apart.

Drake  Find Your Love

It’s kinda easy to fall into the trap of constantly quoting one artist or author. And in my case, right now, it’s Drake and Lil’ Wayne. I guess it’s testament to their great ability to play with words.

Can Drake ever get it wrong? He’s like a younger version of Jigga — who is still very much on the ball.

Song Credit: Spiller ft. Sophie - Groove Jet (Why Does It Feel So Good)

THE DAY MY iTUNES PLAYER FOUND ONE OF MY FAVOURITE JAMS

Every now and then, one bumps into a song they used to abuse their ears with. It was thee tune to have, and one doubtlessly got it, embedded it on their harddrive and played it until they couldn’t take it anymore. It, of course, faded with each play and, inevitably, one moved on to the next “hot” jam.

Beware the ‘random’ button…
Fast-forward to a time when said jam is irrelevant and never crosses one’s mind… and BAM! Your player’s random setting just happens to select and play it. And voila! All those emotions one associates with said song make a comeback… LOL! And suddenly, it’s like you’re hearing it for the first time again… WOW!

Groove Jet (Why Does It Feel So Good) by DJ Spiller featuring Sophie Ellis-Baxter on the Ministry Of Sound’s XX Twenty Year compilation album is such a song.

Down memory lane…
It took me back to when meu was in varsity and learning to navigate the world. You know, that time when one’s just discovered a thing called parties and that social circles expand and contract at the drop of a hat… LOL!

Anyhow, I did the honourable thing and put my iTunes player on repeat. My jam played and played and played… You get where I’m going with this, right? LOL! Point is, I went through the motions again… what fun it was. *sigh*

And now to seal this lid…
I soo can’t wait till my player finds another song I used to abuse… LOL! If only, to relive the moment and go through the feelings again.
So in essence, thank the IT gods for the random button, digital archiving or libraries and harddrives.

Sometimes you don’t know you’ve crossed a line until you’re already on the other side. Of course, by then it’s too late.
Harry Stevenson